Motherhood

A thankless sometimes unrewarding profession.
Sleepless nights of worry
Fretting over their decisions
Not liking their friends...
But in a heartbeat you look into their eyes and know that they are good people;  they love deeply as you have taught them, they are respectful (most of the time) and they are basically good people.  Wow I did something right.  They might not always do as I would but they stand by their convictions.  They have good morals and values and I know that they love me - and if I needed them...they would be there in a heart beat.
I love you
Amanda David & Ashley
x0 x0 x0

22 years of wedded bliss......

Wow....I can hardly believe....I have been married to the same man for 22 years...I told him we could do it...but in the beginning I wasn't sure....
We share 3 beautiful children, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a mortgage and all the other ups and downs that accompany married life.
I wouldn't change a thing....for if I did...where I am right now would not be here at this moment....I have learned so much about myself, about being a wife, a mother and a good person. 
Thank you Randy for 22 years
I love you now more than yesterday. Cathy

And just when you think things are looking up....

So I come home from work and school tonight and supper is ready...hubby is putting the finishing touches and when I ask "how was work today", he just rolls his eyes and says..."well....."!!!
LAID OFF!!! Great....we know that the end of the season would be here soon but not without a summer job to go to....this is no good.  He's put out over 20 resumes and not even so much as a call back...Jeez!!! Now what are we gonna do!!!!

Life is so short....

Date:  Jan 30 2010...she falls in the wee hours of the morning...gets up and once again falls....when her husband rises to seek her out...he finds her on the bathroom floor unable to get up...he helps her up amidst her screams of pain and realizes that this means a trip to the hospital.
Date:  Mid February 2010....after 2 ct scans, numerous series of blood work, x-rays etc., the family is advised that she now has to contend with lung cancer...too much to let go...but at the age of 75...she decides that the offer of chemo and/or radiation is denied...she will try to survive the deadly disease
Date:  Late February 2010...family is advised that she is not healing as well as expected...the pain is still severe, efforts to get her up and moving come on deaf ears....suggestion to apply for long term care facility as the option to send her home is not on the list of even remote possiblilty...she talks to her husband and they discuss the options...she does not want to go to "a home"....
Date:  Early March  2010...the option of returning to her home is out!  Suggestion to move her to paliative care....which may take 2 days to 2 weeks...this is the decided choice.
Date:  2 days later...time...9pm...he is notified from the hospital that she has attempted to get out of bed and has fallen....no serious injuries but they are moving her immediately to paliative care...
Date:  Mid March 2010....she is declining quickly...now placed on oxygen full time, she cannot move out of bed without assistance.  She spends most of her time in slumber, and in a "awake state"...she talks about cleaning the room, hearing animal noises which are not being heard by anyone else...
So....is this quality of life.  I say not....the family is aware of what will eventually happen...she will decline food or water, she will spend more time sleeping, oxygen saturation levels will increase and then one day...she will drift off....
Yes I say life is too short, but at what time to we say....this is not quality of existence....when do we decide enough suffering is enough...for both the dying and the family....
I wish that time comes soon....for not to say goodbye to that family member....but to ease the pain and for the family to begin the process of mourning...to accept the loss.....

I don't get it....

Think of those people who stand by you thru thick and thin....and then think of the ones who s...t all over you. Who are the ones that you should be with? Who is the one you should ignore? How many times does someone have to create havoc in your life until you say "enough is enough"? Me personally - I go by the old expression...shit on me once..shame on you...shit on me twice...shame on me!!!! HELLO....its not difficult to figure out! (ps for the use of the "s" word)

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life

So....tomorrow is the first day I return to school....not yet 50...but nontheless I have decided that retraining is the way to go. I have always been a bit of an organizational nut...liking things to be neat and tidy...liking the planning of get togethers and events....so this is the path of education I am taking....Event Planning. I have many emotions all tumbling around in my tummy....scared....nervous....unsurity....I'm already tired....and I haven't even done my first day...
Wish me luck....